All hail the king!

Today we have loads of pictures because yesterday was an extraordinary day.

Quite remarkable.

Yesterday was hot in Zimbabwe, and at La Rochelle in particular. Windows were open, the dogs collapsed, and not too much happened for most of the afternoon. Then, as dusk began to fall, clouds gathered, the wind picked up, and rain was imminent.

As the sun started to sink below the horizon, great big fat drops of rain began to fall; blood-warm, they spat up little puffs of dust everywhere they landed. And then the hail started - small hailstones at first - bouncing and dancing over the grass...

This is about the closest I have ever come to seeing snow - so pretty cool (pardon the pun) to see.

We don't normally have hail more than a couple of times a year, so I figured I should photograph some of the larger ones for the blog..

Then larger hailstones started falling and I managed to collect a few. These were not 'round', but all different shapes. And I thought these were huge, as we don't normally get hailstones this big...

 

After about 15 minutes, even larger hailstones started falling, until they were landing on our roof and the concrete path with a resounding 'crack', and shattering into many particles. The ones that landed on the grass stayed in one piece.

But they sure were getting bigger...

We didn't have many large hailstones - but just imagine one of these (and they are the largest I managed to collect) hitting you on the head from a distance of 3km up in the sky. They were about the size of a baseball, I reckon...

They were, I promise, solid lumps of ice - and somehow they felt colder than normal ice. Don't ask me how, but that is the way they seemed.

And in case you might think that the hailstones were 'about the size of golf balls'... here is a golf ball for comparison:

The damage done was substantial. The local school had their asbestos roofs badly broken, and we have lost several sheets of roofing in our own Staff Quarters. In fact, I was told that the largest hailstone to land was only slightly smaller than the size of an adult human head - but unfortunately no pictures were taken of it. It was apparently made up of several dozen 'smaller' ones all melded together into one solid lump.

One Guest who is staying in the hotel, though, had quite enough trouble with hailstones of the size I have pictured above...

My Night Security Guard is called Takawira... and regular readers will remember him from the time that he was clobbered over the head by robbers (see the post of 26th November 2012) though not that many folk will have read that particular post because there were only 21 page-views as the Blog was still new.

Yesterday Takawira was on his way to work - and he got caught in the middle of the hailstorm. Fortunately for him, he managed to hide under the bridge which crosses over the Imbeza River, and so escaped relatively unscathed. However, I spotted him coming to work this evening - and he is obviously taking no chances that a second hailstorm will catch him unawares....

Don't you just love an African solution to an African problem?

Have a great day!

Bloomers - and a toast!

Much appreciation to everyone who responded to, and remarked on, my last blog. Thanks also to those who passed it on - there have been 2,945 page-views to date, and much contact from old friends (and even a few enemies!), which has been great. Kind of like a mid-year Christmas card thing. Bottom line is that everyone is aware the hotel will be closing and there won't be the usual flurry of rumour.

We now have potential work for 7 of our staff, loads of places for Della and I to stay if we don't land on our feet straight away; plus a very refreshing view of humanity after all the positive thoughts, comments and wishes. Thank you all.

So onwards and upwards with life at La Rochelle.

Winter has now truly gone. The biggest indicator of this every year is the onset of 'Jacaranda season' - a phenomenon remarked upon in my book 'Sorry for that!'.

Jacaranda season is simply a massive spray of purple across the Zimbabwean landscape as the thousands of Jacaranda trees all come into bloom. I am not going to try and take photos of Mutare in her purple jacket because there are folk with better cameras, and a much better eye for a picture, than I. But this is a photo of the tree at La Rochelle - and even against our brilliant sky... it kind of stands out!

Everywhere you look, there is colour - and it is not just purple - there is a veritable kaleidoscope of every hue... like a floral smorgasbord. So here is a small selection of the flowers in the gardens at La Rochelle - all of them right here, right now. Winter is officially over, and it is time for growth and regeneration:

What this time of year does mean is that the evenings, before the onset of the rains, are brilliant for outdoor entertaining. And so it was that we laid up for a function this week - starting just after sunset....

The event we were hosting was the Hillcrest College Toastmasters Awards - and it was great to see the leaders of tomorrow finding their way in public speaking...

However the thought police will probably berate me for the sexist and exclusionist term 'Toastmasters'? Possibly. And it could be argued that there is no such thing as a 'Toastmistress', and in that you would be wholly incorrect. Because actually

a) my computer recognises that as a word, and

b) we have our very own resident Toastmistress at La Rochelle.

Well... more of a Mistress of the Toast than a Toastmistress - but the same thing in the end:

So... a toast to you all.

Have a great day!

La Rochelle Hotel is closing down...

La Rochelle Hotel will be closing at the end of December 2013.

This is now fairly common knowledge, and we gave all of our Staff 3-month's Notice on the 30th September. Our last day of formal trading will be 30th December, and we will spend January tying things up, helping our Staff take their belongings home, moving ourselves, etc.

I know that many folk have questions for us, so I thought it prudent to answer most of them here, saving us explaining the same thing to everybody over and over again as we have been doing for the past week. Here, then, answers to the questions we have been asked:

Why are you shutting down?
We have received Notice from David Scott, the Chairman of National Trust of Zimbabwe, that NTZ wish us to vacate their premises by 31st January 2014. We lease the property from NTZ, and they are our landlords.

What about the school?
This is the most common question from everyone, whether or not they have children at the school, or if they are just part of the local community, and I can assure you all that the school will continue to operate as it has for the past 9 years. Obviously my own involvement will cease, but there are people who will take over the administration. The success of the school, which now has a well-deserved reputation for producing academic excellence, has always been due to the commitment, professionalism and dedication of the amazing people who teach there - nothing more nor less. And that will not change. The people who teach at the Centre will still be there, and the plans to add new classrooms during the course of 2014 will go ahead. The booking lists are full until 2019, and the need for the Centre is as great as ever it was. We have agreement for a Lease covering 2014, and that will hopefully be renewed during the course of next year.

What will you and Della do?
We have no idea. At this time we do not anticipate remaining in Mutare, and we will almost certainly relocate, although we have no place to go to at the moment. We have not yet looked around, and our current concern is to close down La Rochelle with integrity, and then move on. We are sure doors will open. Unfortunately the labour laws in Zim will mean that everything we have in the business will be sold or given to the Staff as part of their retrenchment packages, and Della and I are reconciled to the fact that we will move on with absolutely nothing to our name. But this will be part of the challenges that face us
.
What about the stuff you are involved in?
We hope that folk will be able to take over the few things that we will no longer be able to be a part of. These include Della's prayer time with the oldies at Strickland, Soul Patrol with the youth at Lighthouse, swimming coaching at Fairbridge, and  involvement with Border Dolphins and Manicaland Swimming, and my own input at the school and assistance at galas... even if my choice of music leaves a lot to be desired! These things have all contributed so much to our enjoyment of being part of this community, and we really hope that others will put their hands up and fill any gaps.

What will happen at La Rochelle?
Again, we have no idea. National Trust have not advised us what they want the building for, and we have heard that they do not have a prospective tenant. Whatever the case, the property was left in trust for 'all the people of Zimbabwe', and I am sure will still be accessible to people who wish to visit the gardens and grounds in the future.

Will this affect your children and their schooling?
No - the girls will remain at Peterhouse for as long as Peterhouse are happy to have them. As a family, we have managed to pull the wool over the school's eyes for some time now, and hopefully this will continue for another couple of years.

Will you be doing your usual community Christmas Lunch and New Years Eve party?
Sorry - no. Not at this time. We will just be catering for the folk in the hotel, and as we don't know how many staff we will have at that time, we cannot take bookings for large functions.

Will 'The most interesting blog... in the whurld' still continue?
You betcha. From where, I have no clue, but watch this space! Not only that - a second book is in the pipeline.

So the sun will set on our time at La Rochelle...

And we have no regrets.

La Rochelle has been a wonderful home for us, and if you have been following this blog over the past year or so, you will know that it is as much a blog on La Rochelle as it is on my book. Reading back through the old posts (now numbering over 150) I am amazed at the diversity and richness of the times we have had here. From cobras to Fred the chameleon; goblins and ghosts; the school play to fruit thieves in the trees; from minor surgery in the kitchen to Mad Theresa sleeping for free in the hotel; and not forgetting my mopane-worm-chewing-and-spewing Americans, it certainly has been anything but boring.

We have made so, so many friends during our time here, and, best of all, La Rochelle has given our three children a childhood - as opposed to just an upbringing; a childhood they will remember and cherish for the rest of their lives. Della and I have watched them grow from mewling, bawling, dribbling and puking babies (Courtney was born here), to mewling, bawling, dribbling and puking teenagers.

It has been a privilege.

Apart from our own future, Della and I are concerned for our Staff, and we would very much like to try to find them jobs before we leave. Our Staff comprises eleven people - 3 Cooks, 4 Waiters, 1 Kitchen Porter, 2 Bedroom Hands and 1 Night Guard. Most of them are mentioned by name in "Sorry for that!". (Preacher, Febi, Clemence, Christinah, David, Michael and Joseph).

This staff compliment is quite apart from one slightly tatty-looking Manager, and one beautiful and charming Accountant/Buyer/and-general-kicker-of-bums.

If you are involved in an operation which may be able to take on any of these folk, please contact me on 0772-306560 or larochellezim@gmail.com. It need not be an hotel - it could be a school kitchen or dormitory or laundry, a restaurant, a hunting camp, a casino, it doesn't matter. Old Joseph, who has a sore foot, would be great if someone is looking for a really accomplished cook for their home. Anything would be appreciated. I will provide a 'technical' reference - detailing competence at work etc, as well as a 'character' reference.

We have a family who have booked to stay in the hotel for Christmas, so we intend operating until at least the 30th December. The ideal situation would be for our Staff to start new employment from early (10th) January, but if necessary we will release them before that.

Here then, the folk who have been with me, many of them since 1999, at La Rochelle.

"I smile because I employ them. They laugh because there is nothing I can do about it!"

There are some very capable people here - and I would like to be able to give them a tomorrow.

Cheers - and have a nice day!

Dahhrlings, you simply MUST come and visit us!

Having received a couple of comments on the book, I realise that some folk living in the 'First World' think that we Zimbos live a totally backward life, with no refinement whatsoever. While this may be true for most of us, most of the time, (yes, we all wear loincloths in the warmer months - but only from humanely-killed animals) I thought it might be prudent of me to show you just how culturally refined we can be. When we put our minds to it....

So what would constitute the essentials of good taste? Classy décor? Classical music? Mountain-top golf resorts? Fine dining?

Well - believe it or not, we have it all.

Let's start off with tasteful décor. Here is a photo from a wedding we hosted at La Rochelle in August. This is a photo taken inside the tent, and I must hasten to add that I personally did not 'do' the décor for the wedding. But this is how we Zimbos like to tart things up for special occasions...

So classical music? Have we got that in Zimbabwe?

Yes we do.

When I was small, I played the triangle in an orchestra. Well, maybe not an orchestra - more a school music group, anyways. And my daughter is following suit - in fact she may well have overtaken me! This week's prize goes to the first person to correctly identify the instrument she plays...

 

And how many musicians playing music with her on that particular evening? Well - there were more than 4 or 5 folk playing music together. In fact - they didn't quite all fit on the stage...

So what about mountain-top golf resorts? Yep - we got that covered - this is a photo of Troutbeck Inn, up in the Nyanga mountains - with the golf course in the background.

So on to fine dining - and what could be more quintessentially refined than 'English cream teas'? Here I would direct your attention to a tiny little Coffee Shoppe up in the Vumba mountains. Tony's.

The list of teas and coffees alone is maybe 120 items long....

And the homemade lemonade, coffee and cake is not too shabby either!

So, Dahlings, DO come and visit us sometime soon. But brush your hair first, you plebs!

Have a great day!

Free beauty treatment for all lady Blog readers!

Today - a real mix of photos - basically stuff that didn't form part of a story over the last 2 months or so, but all of which are interesting by themselves. Plus today I am trying something new - giving away a free beauty treatment to all Lady readers of 'the most interesting blog - in the whorld!'

First off - the warmer weather is returning to the Imbeza Valley - and the first indication every year that winter (all 3 weeks of it) is truly over is when the 'yesterday-today-and-tomorrow' bushes start flowering. They grow flowers so quickly, and in such profusion, that you can see the difference from day to day. In the foreground - our petunias - just about to end.

Then last month, we had a group of bikers travelling through Zimbabwe from South Africa. They were led by Bertus - and spent most of their time, in fact all of their time, in the pub. Good bunch of blokes - and nice to have some polished chrome in the La Rochelle car park.

Those who have read my book will know that I make reference to the proliferation of satellite televisions - even in the remotest of remote areas. I talk of dishes poking through the thatch of huts - and in case you thought I was stretching things - here is a somewhat rustic cabin at the entrance to Nyanga town - with a dish, and his own jury-rigged electricity supply.

Priorities, people, priorities. The tv system cost more than the house?

Lastly - my give-away.

This is really exciting!!!

In Zimbabwe, we do not have hairdressers and beauty salons as those of you who live overseas would know them. Rather we have Hairsaloons. A hairsaloon is an interesting concept, and one which I have never seen in my travels to England or South Africa. Basically it is a long wooden counter at which copious amounts of beer are consumed every night.

Hence the word 'saloon'.

The objective of the patrons is to drink as much beer as quickly as possible until they reach a stage where they can only be described as 'totally cut' or 'totally chopped' (i.e very drunk) hence the word 'hair'.

Once they reach this stage of inebriation - they are then called 'barbers' - which is short for 'barbarians'. And at this point - the most amazing phenomenon occurs...

At this point, every single woman who walk into the Hairsaloon becomes instantly beautiful in the eyes of all beholders. It is quite incredible!

Beautiful and desirable beyond belief.

So - to my regular lady readers - if you wish to have the free beauty treatment promised at the start of this blog, simply walk into the Hairsaloon at Fairbridge Shopping Centre  in Mutare, Zimbabwe, on any night after 10pm. You will, I promise, be the most beautiful creature on earth.

 

Y'welcome!

Have a great day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ideas to reduce school fees. Brilliant!

So - time to get you to the top of Inyangani! And apologies for disappearing again - duty called and much time taken up with books and things. (As my forward on Facebook will attest)

The last blog was with a pile of bones at the top - but what was it really like up there - after a 2 hour scramble to the top? Well - rolling plains on the one side and mountainy bits on the other - but everything all around us was below us.  Here are some of the mountainy bits!

And - almost unbelievably, because this is Africa, indeed Zimbabwe... unbelievably - you can actually see the curve of the earth from the top of Mount Inyangani!

 

 

So - did we make it to the top? Well of course we did. My cousin Alice and I arrived half an hour after everyone else, simply because we were admiring the view on the way up, but we did all get there. Remarkably! The top of the mountain is 8,504 feet high (2,592m) - and that is probably a piddly little hill to some, but high enough for us! Here is our intrepid group at the beacon on the top. The highest point in Zimbabwe!

Take a very close look at this photo - and tell me what you can see? I will tell you that there are 4 of them including ours - and a toilet block. just to the right of centre!

Now - this is exactly the same view, and the photo taken without moving an inch... except this time with full zoom on the camera lens. Yup - the car park, and our car, were visible from almost the top of the mountain - but hopefully this gives an idea of just how high we were!

The children, of course, were far more daring than I, and balanced on the very lip of the vertical precipice, with their toes hanging in space, and nothing but fresh air for thousands of feet below them! I bet they wouldn't allow kids in America or England to do this - but our school fees in Zimbabwe are very high, and we take every opportunity to try and reduce costs...

In this case - it failed, and we all safely made our way down the mountain... on foot.

Next I plan on taking them on a tour of the artillery range during a live-firing session!

Have a great day!

Climbing Inyangani - and death at the top!

The last blog left me starting out on the pathway up Mount Inyangani - the highest point in Zimbabwe. If you didn't read that blog, then close this and just read through quickly, so that you are in the flow....

So the first photo is of the mountain stream which flows down the side of Inyangani. The water was crystal clear, ice-cold, and so, so sweet - especially on the way down. My journey up the mountain took about 2 hours, and the descent about 90 minutes, so it was very welcome indeed when the path ran next to the stream.

The young ones went ahead, and my cousin and I followed at a far more leisurely pace - stopping every twenty metres or so... to admire the view. It wasn't as if we needed to stop, but if you don't take the time to appreciate the scenery, what is the point of climbing any mountain? The road to the car-park is visible below us, and this photo was taken by the children as they bounded out of sight ahead of us!

The views once you almost reach the top are pretty cool. Here is my daughter pointing out that you can actually see the east coast of America from the top of Inyangani! This was at the top of the steep ascent - from there it was a fairly gentle climb to the beacon at the peak.

Gentle climb indeed! Here is one of the arrows which show the way - and they were necessary in places, as the grass and rocks became a bit jumbled. Leading the pack is a friend of my daughter's who was staying with us at the time. I am still halfway back down the mountain at this stage!

 

And what did my daughter find at the top? Well - incredibly, the skeleton of a previous climber - left on a barren rock as a stark warning to any idiot foolhardy enough to climb the mountain...

(My daughter is the one in a cap)

We managed to take a small sample of the bone home, and we sent it for DNA analysis. The results were somewhat confusing, because we had two 'hits' - and two results. I leave it up to you to decide....

According to the DNA lab, either the bones belonged to

a) A Caucasian female aged 32 years, brown hair, green eyes, 37-34-38, mother of three, pierced ears, who did a lot of typing in her lifetime, or..

b) a sheep

You be the judge!

Have a great day!!