Impaled in Zimbabwe - the story of how Spike got his name.

Regular readers of the Blog please note that this particular post is not for the squeamish.

So . . . . this past weekend, my family and I attended the wedding of a family friend. The Wedding was held at Nyanga, and we traveled up on the Friday, ready for the Saturday ceremony. We stayed with some old friends on their farm (hopefully featuring in the next blog) and after a round of golf at Clairmont we dug out our 'glad rags' and prepared for an afternoon and evening of frivolity and fun.

This is my family (minus my eldest daughter who is currently in Cape Town), ready to flick a hoof after a little spit-'n-polishing:

(I'm the one in the tie)

The ceremony was held in the small chapel across the road from the Montclair Hotel, and was perfect. Afterwards the Bride & Groom came out into the late afternoon sunshine to be welcomed by their guests. In a really neat touch, instead of confetti, petals or rice, the guests were all given bubbles to blow as the Bridal Couple came out of the church..

While the bride & groom went for photographs, the guests all wandered over the road to the Montclair, where the wedding reception was to take place. I shall post again on the wedding, but suffice to say it was done extremely well. I had worked at the Montclair some 27 years previously and was a little worried that it might be somewhat shabby, but the hotel was clean, nicely decorated, and a great deal of effort had gone into ensuring everything was tip-top. Effort counts for a lot!

The MC for the evening was a cousin of our daughters' - Grant. Here he is - long after the speeches and meal, urging the 3 main party animals of the evening on to greater heights on the dance floor:

Not such a good photo, but certainly one which depicts the fun of the evening. Eventually the party wound down. We left just after 01.00am, and there were not that many people when we departed.

Grant, though, remained, and things obviously deteriorated, because just after 06.00 the next morning, one of the lady wedding guests went for a walk, and found Grant impaled on the metal spikes on top of a gate at the Post Office across the road from the Montclair.

That is correct - impaled. Properly skewered.

He had been trying to climb over the gate of the Post Office (possibly with the intention of viewing the sunrise from the top of the cellular phone tower located in the yard there - though even he doesn't know what his intentions were), and he had managed to work two of the largest gate spikes in the world all the way through his body - one through the abdomen, and one through the thigh. She managed to stop the small crowd that had gathered from lifting him off the spikes (which would almost certainly have been fatal at that point), and raised the alarm.

I received a phone call at the farm we were staying at asking for an angle-grinder and a doctor. At first I thought this was in reference to a serious hang-over, but it became clear that we had a major medical emergency on our hands.

How long he had been on the gate is anyone's guess - he was last seen well over an hour an a half earlier, and was cold, semi-conscious and gray when found. It then took just under an hour from the time he was found to get an angle-grinder, cut the gate from its hinges, and then lower it gently to the ground with him still on it, before the spikes were cut with the same grinder. One spike went in through his groin area and exited on the side of his buttock, and the other went straight through his thigh.

Not small and made of steel, the weight of his body had bent them at the base. Here they are after being removed some 14 hours later (and yes, the phone in the background is quite a large one!):

If you look carefully, you can still see a small piece of flesh on the tip of one.

(Bet you wish you hadn't looked?) 

Once he was detached from the gate with the spikes still through him, he was covered with blankets and taken to the Nyanga hospital, where a drip was inserted, and the decision was taken to transfer him to Harare. One of the wedding guests arranged an ambulance, and he was given tetanus and antibiotic injections, while his vitals were monitored. Eventually he was loaded into a 4x4 truck, and taken to Rusape - an hour away, where an ambulance met him. 

From there he was driven to Harare, and taken to the Avenues Clinic. For those folk who live overseas, and who may shudder at the thought of an African hospital, while Nyanga was indeed quite rudimentary, the Avenues Clinic would match anything in the world. Here is the Reception waiting area of the clinic:

Once admitted, they took him for an MRI scan to see exactly where the metal spikes were located and what damage had been done. (They couldn't do an X-ray because at that stage roughly 50% of his body mass constituted steel and other processed metals and they would have blown the machine up!!) The one through his abdomen was obviously of major concern, but from the scan you can see that the spike had passed in front of one femoral artery, and behind the other. (These are the tubes you can see in the scan).

Incredibly, there appeared to be no trauma to any major organs, bones, arteries or nerves, and so the decision was made to operate that evening. A general anesthetic was administered, and he was wheeled away into the surgical unit. The surgeons (two surgeons were in attendance as well as an anesthesiologist) worked in tandem and after the operation to remove the spikes, they spent a lot of time with the defibrillation and disinfecting of the path the spikes had taken.

Come the next morning Grant was conscious and able to hold up the spikes - finally on the outside of his body.

Was he lucky?

Incredibly so.

Several people took actions which contributed to him surviving the trauma. Firstly the woman who found him impaled on the gate, and who managed to prevent the onlookers from lifting him off then and there, certainly saved his life. Though slight in stature, she actually climbed up and tied him to the gate until help arrived, wrapped him in her sweatshirt, and then accompanied him first to Nyanga hospital and then to Rusape - all the time talking to him and keeping him conscious. (According to Grant - he remembers her 'constantly barking orders' at him!). Her husband made the arrangements for the best possible ambulance service to be sent from Harare and spoke to a renowned Harare medical practitioner who paved the way for the surgical team and who assisted in ensuring that 2 surgeons would be in attendance. The husband then drove Grant to Rusape (leaving his own children to be looked after by friends) to meet the ambulance - thus saving time. A remarkable couple.

 The local farmer who brought an angle-grinder that worked - after they had tried cutting the spikes with a hacksaw and a blunt grinder. The wedding guest who worked the grinder and eventually freed Grant, and the people who rallied about and helped gently lower the gate with him still impaled on top of it using planks as levers - they all contributed immensely

And it goes without saying that the medical folk involved were of the highest calibre. The Orderly at Nyanga Hospital who administered the first drip and the Doctor who arrived and administered the tetanus and antibiotics were all very competent.

The medical team in the ambulance were thoroughly professional throughout - stopping every 50km to check vitals, and driving slowly when the road became bumpy. They also oversaw his delivery at the hospital, and then sent him 'Get well' cards the day after the operations. Some of the staff from the ambulance also visited him in hospital. A highly professional and well-run operation.




The nurses at Avenues were exemplary, and they and the ward sister were calm and unruffled by the sight of a human kebab. I will also say that the entire facility not only spotless, but sparkling clean. Visitors to the general wards are required to wash their hands with a bactericidal gel, and access to the High-care unit is strictly controlled and limited.

One of the surgeons came to speak to us before the operation and explained what they were going to do. He calmed everyone by saying that they could not see major damage on the scans, and he was fairly certain that all would be well. He sent us home for a couple of hours, and when we returned, the second surgeon came and assured us that everything had gone perfectly. In fact, he said that it was almost as though the spikes had been carefully fed in to miss every important meaty bit possible. There was no damage to the bowels, urethra, bones, arteries or any other organ.

In a perverse way, Grant was probably lucky that he was perched on top of the spikes for well over an hour, because that meant that they worked their way slowly into, and then right through, his body. If they had only gone halfway through, despite the careful handling there would have been a sharp tip waving around inside his body - right in the vicinity of his lower intestine, urethra, femoral artery, and other necessary bits. Although horrific to see, he probably was fortunate in that respect.

Amazing.

But will there be long-lasting consequences? Absolutely there will. But in a strange twist of fate, the longest-lasting consequence won't belong to Grant, but to his mother. She went to the wedding on Saturday afternoon as a brunette, but by Sunday evening a remarkable transformation had taken place . . . . .

Courtesy of her son.

Who now glorifies in the name of "Spike"

In conclusion - thank you to everyone for prayers and concern. It has all been very much appreciated by the family.

And a reminder that all my old posts - over 200 of them, can be found at the top of this page.

Have a good one!

My animals and other family!

Having mentioned our dogs in several previous blogs (all of which can be seen at top right of this page) I though I would devote this blog to introducing you to my animals and other family.

I shall begin with our German Shepherd, Eva. We acquired her when I was going to work at Pamuzinda, and I wanted a dog that would be on the property with my family. When we got her, she was matted with dirt and absolutely crawling with fleas. The person selling the puppies recommended another puppy for us, but my wife chose Eva purely on the basis of her eyes. She had a sparkle and sense of fun which has come through more and more the longer we have her. Fiercely protective of my wife, she has turned into a really beautiful and intelligent dog. . . . . .

At the moment strangely enough as we are currently heading for winter, Eva is shedding hair at an alarming rate. I brushed her thoroughly yesterday, and today she needed brushing again. Quite a lot came off:

We then have 3 dachshunds. Of these, just one is a male - and his name is 'Blue'. A funny little dog, he varies from being extremely cuddly and soppy, to wanting to fight the entire neighbourhood through the bars of our gate! He is Eva's best mate, and they spend hours chasing each other around the garden. He is a dappled Daxxie - and has wonderful colouring:

A truly beautiful dog, Blue has been father to all the puppies we have had in the last couple of years.

Caramel is one of two female Daxxies that we have, and she has the nicest nature of any dog I have ever owned. She is a little portly - to the extent that the whole family calls her 'Fatty' (to her face) and she has a slipped disc in her back, which means she has to be helped up onto beds and chairs. A statement I used about 4 years ago still holds true - "Caramel is a fine specimen!".

Caramel has one weakness - food.

In common with most of her breed she is almost fixated with food, and she has a 'begging face' that is hard to resist. Her only problem is that while a lot of weight goes to her tummy, all excess food seems to be stored in her eyebrows!

Caramels sister Honey is our final Sausage Dog. Honey, derided by some family members as being a bit of a 'princess', is probably the most talkative dog I have ever owned. She  is high-maintenance, but a wonderful little dog. If she has a weakness, it is her love of, and addiction to, hunting lizards and rats - and once she is on the hunt, there is very little that gets in her way. This was the state she got herself into yesterday morning in pursuit of a lizard under an outside chair which was festooned with cobwebs . . . .

Not such a good quality photo, but it shows her character perfectly. She was also a little overweight yesterday morning.

So four dogs - Eva, Blue, Caramel and Honey.

In my time I have had many different pets; several cats, a chameleon, a mongoose and a brown house snake. There have been many dogs coming in and out of my life - probably the best-known being 'Blackie', a black Labrador with 3 legs who was a constant feature at La Rochelle for many years. But right now we have 4 dogs, 1 a German Shepherd and 3 Dachshunds.

At least that was the case until last night, when I was awake through most of the night, overseeing an almost instant increase in  the size of our family!

These are the new additions to our family, and the oldest puppy in the picture above is no more than 3 hours old.

Beeyootiful!

Have a great day!

One small leap for man. One giant leap for womankind!

The final Inter-school Athletics Meet of 2016 was held at Chispite Senior School, and my daughter had been selected to take part by virtue of having, quite accidentally and unintentionally, won an Interhouse competition the previous week.

Never one to do things by halves, she had managed to find some white oxide and in true Celtic fashion (for she does indeed have Scottish blood in her veins) had applied warpaint and battle make-up:

My daughter was not the only one who had prepared for all-out war, and several of the senior Peterhouse girls had readied themselves for the rigors of battle. They spent quite a lot of time practicing scowls and other fearsome facial contortions:

There were lots of track races, high jump, javelin, shot putt, discus and relays, and each event was competed in 5 different age groups. This is the starting bend of the 400m - and though I am not sure which age group this was, I can tell you that, for a middle-distance race, these kids were flying:

My attention was drawn to a small patch of the Kalahari Desert that had been specially imported and which now masqueraded as the the long jump pit. 6 competitors readied themselves for battle in the 'Open Long Jump', mentally preparing for the duel ahead, while studiously ignoring their fellow Leapers.

What then of the competition arrayed against my poor daughter? Scary or not? Well, to be perfectly honest, they were indeed a little scary, and even had pink shoes with nails sticking out of them. The opposing competitors looked all athletic, wiry, and perfectly capable of jumping a thousand feet - either up or along  . . .

Or both.

The looked like rabbits, and even screamed out loud as they jumped with the exertion of it all:

So . . .  who was the winning competitor in the Inter-schools Open Long Jump ?

Well, incredibly, here is the leap that won First Place - sans shoes, sans spikes, sans shouting, and sans gravity. But with warpaint!

Victory - thanks to technique, paint and attitude!

Well done for a magnificent 'Boooyinnnng'

Have a great day, all.

A superb example of British understatement!

At the end of last year, I went to England for a short visit, and while there I went to The Tower of London with my Aunt. It should actually be a criminal offense for anyone to visit London without seeing the Tower of London - so much history and heritage maintained for exactly the right reasons. And pretty much told as it happened (which is often not quite the case in Africa!)

Here is the Union Jack fluttering proudly over the Tower beneath yet another wonderfully overcast English sky:

This is one of the entrances to the Tower of London - and you can see where the moat was - though now grass has replaced the water. They have scattered around several metal sculptures of the animals that were periodically kept at the Tower - in this case African lions. (Interestingly the animals on the English heraldic badge are not lions, but leopards).

And don't you just love the 'arrow slits' through which defenders would fire their arrows at attackers.

The White Tower - distinctive because of the 4 domes at each corner, is located pretty much in the Centre of the complex, and was where workmen uncovered bones during a restoration - possibly of the Princes in the Tower. It is also close to the place where executions of nobility took place (mostly by beheading), while lesser folk lost their heads or were hung-drawn-and-quartered on Tower Hill (for the entertainment, edification and 'education' of the general population!)

One of the features of the Tower is the displays they have, detailing life as it was way back when.

This is a very small part of the armour display:

And, yes, Henry VIII was indeed a man.

When we were there, it was the 600th Anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt, and they had a marvelous tableau detailing the battlefield, and how the battle progressed. I had just finished reading a superb book on the battle called "Azincourt" - apparently the correct (French) spelling of the place, and so I already had quite a good understanding of what had happened, and the reasons behind the English victory.

They also had lists, taken from payrolls and other records, of the names of the archers, knights, pikemen, serfs etc who had fought in the battle. Quite amazing.

Unfortunately they forbid the taking of photographs in the display room which was a shame, as it was really interesting, but I did manage to snap a photo of the sculpture they had erected in order to advertise the fact that they had a special display on.

Can you spot it in the picture below?

Maybe my little camera battled a bit, but you can just make it out.

This is a slightly closer view of the advert - flip back a pic and see if you can spot it now?

Here, then, in close detail, is the advert for the 'Agincourt' display. An iron sculpture of an archer about to release an arrow tucked away on one of the parapets shooting through the crenelations. That's it - nothing else! No fanfare, no illuminated signs, not even any writing.

Isn't English understatement such a wonderful thing?

Of course, this being England, it cannot possibly be a permanent display, so you had better get along and see it as soon as possible . . . . .  before it rusts away in the perpetual rain they are so fond of over there!

Have a great day!

Stuff that doesn't look quite right!

This week is a selection of photos of "stuff that don't look quite right".

For one reason or another.

A couple of these photos have featured in the blog before (apologies to those who have seen them previously, but readership is about 5 times what it used to be, so many folk won't have seen these) and there are a couple of "newbies".

This is me, in mid-beard-shave. I grew a full beard, and decided it had to go. This was the astonishing result of leaving just a toothbrush moustache - and one of me very fave profile pics for a while!

Loved it!

Here is a friend of mine teeing off at one of the local golf courses. What does seem odd is the background - the course is situated next to the Harare Municipal Dump, which has, over the years, encroached onto the doorstep of the course.

Augusta this ain't:

Now - an old girlfriend visiting me. (Those who are new to the Blog can find more posts on Jasmine at top right of this page in the Blog Archive).

I guess the juxtaposition of bush and bricks is what makes this pic seem 'not quite right'

And then this chap who I found one wedding night at Chengeta. Living in Africa I am used to big bugs - but this one just seemed way too big, and so makes it into my collection of stuff that doesn't look quite right.

Scorpion on steroids!

.
Finally - these three astonishing pictures, which I managed to take just around the corner from our house.

There has been a profusion of second-hand vehicles brought into Zimbabwe, but that doesn't detract from the African capacity to keep stuff alive way longer than most countries.

Question is - would this pass an MOT inspection in England?

So what is it? Well here is a Bible sitting on top of it:

Obvious really, isn't it? A tractor, in the workshop, and being prepared for re-sale.



Guess the advert will read "slight tear in left rear tyre - but perfectly functional"!

And of all the pics in this blog - this one actually looks right, doesn't it? This solution has obviously been in place a loooong time - and it works.

I presume.

Have a great day!

Two departures in one day - one permanently.

A couple of days ago I had 2 departures from my life - one an 'Au Revoir', and one a 'Goodbye and good riddance'!

The first farewell took place early in the morning, with the alarm going off at 04.30, and by the time the sun was creeping up over the horizon, we were at Harare International Airport, dropping my daughter off for her flight to Johannesburg and then on to Cape Town.

Such is life.

We got her luggage checked in, and soon it was time for her to make her way through the gate and head for the UCT - another year of study ahead. (Leaving me once again bereft of a free workforce).

As an aside, there is a sign at the airport put together by another earnest Zimbabwean sign-writer. Regular readers of the blog (and there are over 200 blogs at this time - look at the top right of this page for all the old posts) will know I just love Zimbo signs! Here ya go:

Prohibitation? Scary stuff!

The other departure from our household was a fellow who has been (I think) setting off our burglar alarm with monotonous regularity over the past couple of months - tripping the motion sensors.

Roland.

Roland Rat.

Who decided to march across our lawn one sunny afternoon, as the doves were coming in to drink from the bird-bath, and the day was generally winding down. He was spotted by my youngest two dogs Blue and Honey, and they took him on at once. The matron of the family - Caramel - arrived a couple of minutes later and joined proceedings. After a noisy and protracted fight with my 3 Dachshunds, Caramel got him by the neck and he came off second best, dispatched to that great big grain bin in the sky.

So here is the Chief Huntress, and she really was not much bigger than her quarry. Take into account that she has a slipped disc in her back, is now somewhat portly in appearance - and only arrived as the fight was in full swing, and I think you can see how effective she is.

In fact - I think that tip-of-nose-to-tip-of-tail, Caramel is quite a bit shorter than her adversary.

She sat there for ages, just willing the rat to move. It didn't happen.

Both my other dogs, Blue and Honey, were bleeding from bites to the face, and sore for a couple of hours. They soon recovered, and were back a-hunting the next day for any siblings and offspring that Roland may have had.

Life is good!

Have a great day

Gassy Guy? That's . . . . me!

The reason for my silence over the last couple of months - I have been somewhat busy starting a new business.

Gassy Guy.

And what I am doing is importing gas/electric and paraffin/electric freezers into Zimbabwe from South Africa. I figure the lack of rains this year will lead to a shortage of power at some stage, and these are the perfect standby for when the lights fail. This way, folk never need lose meat again.

I have registered a company called 'Miphart' (and, yes, pronounced 'My Fart') and will be trading as Gassy Guy.

Which my wife says is very appropriate.

The logo I have developed is supposed to represent a Chest Freezer, and a Flame. And a Gassy Guy!

These units use ammonia and hydrogen as cooling system, and are non-ozone-depleting, hence the leaf in the logo. The smaller (100L) units are rated at just 200W, and the biggest at 280W.. That is 2 light bulbs worth to run your freezer. Believe it.

There are 3 sizes available in the LPG range, and options include thermostat and dual-capability. Manufactured by Cold Factor - a reputable South African company, the units have safety valves cutting the gas if there is 'no-flame' for 60 seconds or more, and they take the temp to 'ambient-minus-40'. So at our standard 30C midday temperature, the freezer will be at Minus 10 degrees Celsius.

Here is more of my promotional poster, showing a little more detail. Anyone interested in getting more info can contact me on the numbers listed. Prices range from $520 to $740, and will be dictated by exchange rate fluctuations.

So my first shipment arrived after Christmas, and was stored at my house in the bar at my house.

Unfortunately the business premises I rented had been used as a diesel storage facility for 15 years, and there had been some spillage.

Yuck was not the word . . . .

So the first order of business was to clean the floor - and I tried several options, from bleach, sugar soap and detergent, to a mixture I found on Facebook with Hydrogen Peroxide (I found some 40%), Dishwasher and Baking Soda. In fact, a bottle of this mixture exploded in my face and blinded me in my left eye for 4 to 5 days. I am fixed, and the floor is clean, so good endings all around.

Here is the Showroom/Office in mid-wash: (Check out my battery of chemicals on the window sill!)

The first thing I did was try to find some quality staff, and with this in mind, I set a limit of one year at University (College for you 'Mericans out there?) as a minimum requirement.

Astonishingly I found that even though I had set such high educational standards, it was very difficult not only to motivate my new staff, but getting them out of bed and ready for work was extremely tough.

Just shows that quality is hard to come by. (Especially the unpaid kind!)

Here is my entire staff in their PJ's hiding from the camera because they have an acute case of 'sleepy face' . . . .

After several cups of coffee and a few good slaps, my staff got to work and spent a busy morning moving boxes and sorting through things for me . . .

Finally the storerooms was clean enough to lay some plastic on the floor, open the boxes and check the units: We have not painted the store - that will come, but I needed somewhere to be able to store and check the everything before selling them on. Transporters can throw stuff around sometimes, and I had just one lid crumpled on one corner - not bad.



This is the entrance to the property where I have my premises. Bluffhill is an industrial area, so lots of factories around me, but the office park where I have rented space is pretty neat. It even has parking space for my trusty steed!

This is the inside of my Showroom/Office today - carpeted and ready for action. On the right is the 100L unit, in the center the 180L and to the left the 120L.

And another pic showing the full range with the Paraffin unit to the right. It is slightly higher than the others because it has a 7L tank, whereas the others just have a hose and regulator for the LPG

.

So - how do we know that I am settled and ready for business? Obvious really - I have started on a new effort to to beat my Candy Crush record that I set at Pamuzinda one busy morning..

Hard at work, again!

Yup - life is good!

Please, please, please click on "Share" back on Facebook for me if you know even one Zimbabwean who might think a deep-freezer operated by LPG or Paraffin might be quite handy if Kariba ever blows up, and ask all your mates to do the same.

Oh - and if anyone believed for a minute that I have ever played 'Candy Crush' - shame on you!

As if!

Thanks guys! (And don't forget to share!!!)