Stuff that doesn't look quite right!

This week is a selection of photos of "stuff that don't look quite right".

For one reason or another.

A couple of these photos have featured in the blog before (apologies to those who have seen them previously, but readership is about 5 times what it used to be, so many folk won't have seen these) and there are a couple of "newbies".

This is me, in mid-beard-shave. I grew a full beard, and decided it had to go. This was the astonishing result of leaving just a toothbrush moustache - and one of me very fave profile pics for a while!

Loved it!

Here is a friend of mine teeing off at one of the local golf courses. What does seem odd is the background - the course is situated next to the Harare Municipal Dump, which has, over the years, encroached onto the doorstep of the course.

Augusta this ain't:

Now - an old girlfriend visiting me. (Those who are new to the Blog can find more posts on Jasmine at top right of this page in the Blog Archive).

I guess the juxtaposition of bush and bricks is what makes this pic seem 'not quite right'

And then this chap who I found one wedding night at Chengeta. Living in Africa I am used to big bugs - but this one just seemed way too big, and so makes it into my collection of stuff that doesn't look quite right.

Scorpion on steroids!

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Finally - these three astonishing pictures, which I managed to take just around the corner from our house.

There has been a profusion of second-hand vehicles brought into Zimbabwe, but that doesn't detract from the African capacity to keep stuff alive way longer than most countries.

Question is - would this pass an MOT inspection in England?

So what is it? Well here is a Bible sitting on top of it:

Obvious really, isn't it? A tractor, in the workshop, and being prepared for re-sale.



Guess the advert will read "slight tear in left rear tyre - but perfectly functional"!

And of all the pics in this blog - this one actually looks right, doesn't it? This solution has obviously been in place a loooong time - and it works.

I presume.

Have a great day!

Two departures in one day - one permanently.

A couple of days ago I had 2 departures from my life - one an 'Au Revoir', and one a 'Goodbye and good riddance'!

The first farewell took place early in the morning, with the alarm going off at 04.30, and by the time the sun was creeping up over the horizon, we were at Harare International Airport, dropping my daughter off for her flight to Johannesburg and then on to Cape Town.

Such is life.

We got her luggage checked in, and soon it was time for her to make her way through the gate and head for the UCT - another year of study ahead. (Leaving me once again bereft of a free workforce).

As an aside, there is a sign at the airport put together by another earnest Zimbabwean sign-writer. Regular readers of the blog (and there are over 200 blogs at this time - look at the top right of this page for all the old posts) will know I just love Zimbo signs! Here ya go:

Prohibitation? Scary stuff!

The other departure from our household was a fellow who has been (I think) setting off our burglar alarm with monotonous regularity over the past couple of months - tripping the motion sensors.

Roland.

Roland Rat.

Who decided to march across our lawn one sunny afternoon, as the doves were coming in to drink from the bird-bath, and the day was generally winding down. He was spotted by my youngest two dogs Blue and Honey, and they took him on at once. The matron of the family - Caramel - arrived a couple of minutes later and joined proceedings. After a noisy and protracted fight with my 3 Dachshunds, Caramel got him by the neck and he came off second best, dispatched to that great big grain bin in the sky.

So here is the Chief Huntress, and she really was not much bigger than her quarry. Take into account that she has a slipped disc in her back, is now somewhat portly in appearance - and only arrived as the fight was in full swing, and I think you can see how effective she is.

In fact - I think that tip-of-nose-to-tip-of-tail, Caramel is quite a bit shorter than her adversary.

She sat there for ages, just willing the rat to move. It didn't happen.

Both my other dogs, Blue and Honey, were bleeding from bites to the face, and sore for a couple of hours. They soon recovered, and were back a-hunting the next day for any siblings and offspring that Roland may have had.

Life is good!

Have a great day

Gassy Guy? That's . . . . me!

The reason for my silence over the last couple of months - I have been somewhat busy starting a new business.

Gassy Guy.

And what I am doing is importing gas/electric and paraffin/electric freezers into Zimbabwe from South Africa. I figure the lack of rains this year will lead to a shortage of power at some stage, and these are the perfect standby for when the lights fail. This way, folk never need lose meat again.

I have registered a company called 'Miphart' (and, yes, pronounced 'My Fart') and will be trading as Gassy Guy.

Which my wife says is very appropriate.

The logo I have developed is supposed to represent a Chest Freezer, and a Flame. And a Gassy Guy!

These units use ammonia and hydrogen as cooling system, and are non-ozone-depleting, hence the leaf in the logo. The smaller (100L) units are rated at just 200W, and the biggest at 280W.. That is 2 light bulbs worth to run your freezer. Believe it.

There are 3 sizes available in the LPG range, and options include thermostat and dual-capability. Manufactured by Cold Factor - a reputable South African company, the units have safety valves cutting the gas if there is 'no-flame' for 60 seconds or more, and they take the temp to 'ambient-minus-40'. So at our standard 30C midday temperature, the freezer will be at Minus 10 degrees Celsius.

Here is more of my promotional poster, showing a little more detail. Anyone interested in getting more info can contact me on the numbers listed. Prices range from $520 to $740, and will be dictated by exchange rate fluctuations.

So my first shipment arrived after Christmas, and was stored at my house in the bar at my house.

Unfortunately the business premises I rented had been used as a diesel storage facility for 15 years, and there had been some spillage.

Yuck was not the word . . . .

So the first order of business was to clean the floor - and I tried several options, from bleach, sugar soap and detergent, to a mixture I found on Facebook with Hydrogen Peroxide (I found some 40%), Dishwasher and Baking Soda. In fact, a bottle of this mixture exploded in my face and blinded me in my left eye for 4 to 5 days. I am fixed, and the floor is clean, so good endings all around.

Here is the Showroom/Office in mid-wash: (Check out my battery of chemicals on the window sill!)

The first thing I did was try to find some quality staff, and with this in mind, I set a limit of one year at University (College for you 'Mericans out there?) as a minimum requirement.

Astonishingly I found that even though I had set such high educational standards, it was very difficult not only to motivate my new staff, but getting them out of bed and ready for work was extremely tough.

Just shows that quality is hard to come by. (Especially the unpaid kind!)

Here is my entire staff in their PJ's hiding from the camera because they have an acute case of 'sleepy face' . . . .

After several cups of coffee and a few good slaps, my staff got to work and spent a busy morning moving boxes and sorting through things for me . . .

Finally the storerooms was clean enough to lay some plastic on the floor, open the boxes and check the units: We have not painted the store - that will come, but I needed somewhere to be able to store and check the everything before selling them on. Transporters can throw stuff around sometimes, and I had just one lid crumpled on one corner - not bad.



This is the entrance to the property where I have my premises. Bluffhill is an industrial area, so lots of factories around me, but the office park where I have rented space is pretty neat. It even has parking space for my trusty steed!

This is the inside of my Showroom/Office today - carpeted and ready for action. On the right is the 100L unit, in the center the 180L and to the left the 120L.

And another pic showing the full range with the Paraffin unit to the right. It is slightly higher than the others because it has a 7L tank, whereas the others just have a hose and regulator for the LPG

.

So - how do we know that I am settled and ready for business? Obvious really - I have started on a new effort to to beat my Candy Crush record that I set at Pamuzinda one busy morning..

Hard at work, again!

Yup - life is good!

Please, please, please click on "Share" back on Facebook for me if you know even one Zimbabwean who might think a deep-freezer operated by LPG or Paraffin might be quite handy if Kariba ever blows up, and ask all your mates to do the same.

Oh - and if anyone believed for a minute that I have ever played 'Candy Crush' - shame on you!

As if!

Thanks guys! (And don't forget to share!!!)

Animals of the Kruger. And others.

Following my last blog, and in response to a couple of queries, the Intercape bus was absolutely the best of the two, and I would recommend it if you ever have to travel by bus. The problems at the border were beyond their control, in in every aspect they were the better of the two companies.

(Newbies to my Blog can see old posts by clicking the titles in the Blog Archive at the top right of this page)

In keeping with my NY resolution to try and post at least once a week - herewith this week a glimpse of some of the animals we saw in the Kruger National Park over Christmas. All photos except one were taken on one day.

The kids developed their own modified game-viewing technique - and the heat we experienced made this a regular occurrence. I know I have posted this pic on my Facebook page before, but this is the first time it has appeared in a blog.

Not only did we have elephant in front of our house, but also the hippo who lived in the pools in the rapidly dying river. It had rained just before our arrival, and this photo was taken from the porch early in our stay. By the time we left, the river had almost completely dried up, and was flowing in just a trickle.

For me, the highlight was a sighting of my favorite animal. The facts that it is both rare and elusively shy at the best of times adding to my delight at seeing it in its natural environment. Quite easy to miss spotting these animals even when in plain view, my little camera did its best.

This photograph is titled 'A study in relaxation during the heat of the day'.

The Kruger, like most of Africa south of the equator, has not yet had the rains we are all craving, and so the waterholes were a magnet for the game. In this photo there are baboon, impala and a rhino with calf. This is an indication of the heat - she was shielding her baby from the sun with her own massive bulk.

The Kruger is one of the last places on earth that you can go to see rhino in appreciable numbers, and we saw many during our time there. They are the second-largest land mammal, and they are part of the Big 5. Because of the large quantity of fibrous grass that they eat, access to water is essential for digestion, and bulls that do not have water in their own territory will enter the territory of another bull to drink. These vital water-related intrusions are accepted by the resident bull providing that the intruder shows submissive behaviour. A bull rhino shows submission by urinating in a continuous stream, whereas in his own territory he would spray. (This would seem to suggest that a lot of male motorists in Zimbabwe on the open road are exhibiting submissive behaviour, but this is not the case. They are just having a wee)

Appropriately, the collective noun for a group of rhino is 'a crash of rhino'! How cool is that?

The largest land mammal is obviously the elephant, and they, too, were present in large numbers in the Kruger. They really are gentle giants, and can move deceptively quickly when they are making their way through the bush.

Any time that an elephant looks down on you, you know that you are kind of close to it. This is a solitary bull that was feeding close to the road, and we watched him until we were a safe distance past him. There have been instances in the past of elephant charging, and squashing, cars.

It is astonishing just how camouflaged elephants are in the wild. OK - if you put an elephant up against a white wall, they kind of stick out, but in the bush, despite their enormous  bulk, they very often just melt away, and it is only the flapping of an ear that reveals them. In the pic above, though the vegetation is sparse, his trunk and legs have disappeared. Amazing.

Now then - talking of camouflage - can you see the cheetah in the following photo? Taken at a distance of around 20 meters with my little point-and-click camera.

Of course, you were aware that the word 'cheetah' can refer either to a single animal, or more than one. So the question remains - did you see the cheetah in the photo? All 3 of them? Or just one of the pair on the extreme left? Or just the one to the right of center?

Finally - this strange and beguiling creature which appeared on Christmas Day - appearing just long enough to be photographed. It is the Greater Antlered Dannicus, and it was caught in the act of dispensing fodder and nesting material to members of its herd.

Shy and elusive, very rarely spotted more than once a year in most instances, it tends to congregate near centres of learning for most of the year.

The red antlers indicate it is a sub-adult male, and almost ready to breed.

Worryingly.

So there you go! The animals of my Christmas.

Have a great day, and please 'Share' the blog for me back on Facebook? Thanks.

Of buses, borders and African pedantry!

So - a Happy New Year to one and all!

And a resolution to try and post a blog at least once a week. I figure I have the time, and certainly the material. We'll see how we go.

I am going to start catch-up from the present working backwards, and this means our recent trip to South Africa to spend time with family. We had booked to fly down. This was going to be the first time on an airplane for Courtney, and we would be there in a matter of an hour or two. Unfortunately, the day before we were due to fly, the airline - flyafrica.com advised us they were not flying, and we had to make alternate arrangements.

Thanks, guys.

This meant catching a bus from Harare to Johannesburg - a trip of 24 hours each way on a bus - inclusive of 6 hours at the border. We went down by Greyhound, and back by InterCape.

 On the way down, we reached the border at around 06.00am - and spent 6 hours at the Beithbridge border post on the South African side. This meant that we were queuing in the mid-day sun to get into the Customs Office, and the only shade was that thrown by our double-decker bus. My family, troopers to the end, found something to smile about as they crouched on the pavement in temps of around 42C as they waited for something to happen:

On the way down, the bus was cramped and quite uncomfortable, which meant we basically fell into bed when we reached our family's Johannesburg home around midnight (after having made our way to the airport to collect a hire car which was waiting for us to come off a flight), some 33 hours after leaving home.The second bus was a lot more luxurious, and the family were delighted with the extra space for our knees, and the reclining seats. Here are 3 happy faces:

Of course, on such a long journey, the only options were to read, watch the scenery, or sleep. And if you have a friend to cuddle, well that makes it a choice of one:-

Then . . . . .  on the way home, we hit the Zimbabwe border post, where we spent another happy 6 and a half hours.

Part of the delay there was due to the fact that that process was three-fold - first join the queue to get into the Immigration building to have our passports stamped: we must have been at position 130 when we joined. Then secondly we had to join the line waiting to have our Customs Declaration form signed - there we joined at position 250, and by the time we reached the front, there were at least 500 people behind us. Then thirdly . . . . . the buses all lined up in a queue of their own, and came forward one by one for 'inspection'. This meant offloading the luggage trailers, and everyone had to stand by their own luggage, which was then opened by the tax Inspector - one at a time! There were roughly 30 buses each carrying 80 passengers - and one, yes ONE, Tax Inspector.

You can see him in the yellow safety vest shuffling through his papers, and this is just one bus being 'inspected'.

By the time we had been at the border for 6 hours, someone decided that enough was enough, and allowed our 'luxury' bus to continue on its journey - without the dreaded baggage inspection. That was a true blessing, and we were saved the ignominy of having our clothes and Christmas presents pawed through in search of contraband. We were truly fortunate to have only to have spent 6 hours there, and the sun was brightening the horizon as we pulled out of the border post.

It could have, believe or not, been an awful lot worse!

So now I can recount a moment of sheer African pedantry:- we had been in the queue about 2 and a half hours to have our 'customs forms' stamped - joining at around 11.00pm, and reaching the fellow sitting at a desk with a rubber stamp at around 01.30am. We had filled out our forms while standing in the queue, (resulting in some rather strange signatures) and when we reached the front, the Customs Officer refused to accept them because . . . . . . the date on them was wrong! We had joined the line on the 30th of December - which was when we filled out our forms, and we reached the front on the 31st December, so he wouldn't accept them until we had corrected them. Bear in mind I had moved about 200 places in the line, and at that stage there were around 500 people behind me waiting to get their own little blue pieces of paper signed, but the whole process ground to a halt because the dates were wrong. Ha ha ha - don't you just love Africa?

Me, being Mr Grumpy, changed the date with a black pen and an even blacker scowl:

All in all, we spent 6 hours at Beitbridge, obtained 1 stamp in our passport, and one on signature on a blue piece of paper. And nothing else. No-one inspected our luggage, collected our signed blue forms, or showed any interest in us whatsoever. For 6 and a half hours we either stood in the queues, or waited on the bus for it to move.

6 and a half hours.

For no apparent reason other than that the 'system' required it of us.

Anyways, I hope your New Year will be more productive, fruitful and enjoyable that my time at the border, and I wish you all the very, very best for 2016.

Cheers!

What a load of rubbish!

In common with most cities around the world, Harare has 2 faces - one pristine and the other slightly shabby and unkempt.

Today I have some photos of my new home which show just how much refuse collection and disposal has deteriorated in what used to be called "The Sunshine City". Our 'City Fathers' may well be accused of abrogating their responsibilities - but what do I know? You be the judge:

And I must admit that I am feeling slightly guilty at posting this blog because it shows Zimbabwe in the worst light (especially the last photo) - while I generally try and showcase the best and funniest we have to offer.

Apologies in advance for the sordid posting.

This may not be how all those very many folk living outside the country will remember Harare. It used to be a fairly pristine city, but has slowly deteriorated to a typically African urban scene:

So much easier to wade through it than pick it up? And - those who have gone - did you notice the Dairibord Icecream lady just intruding into the photo?

The following photo was taken of the vehicle that we used for shopping when I was at Pamuzinda. It is not staged in any way, and the trash piled at the wheels was there when we parked.

On one of the roads leading out of Harare, this is the sight that greets travelers:

This is the same road leading out of Harare - festooned with plastic. Most of the items pictured are plastic shopping bags and bread sleeves. And on the right of the picture you can see a newly-ploughed field, ready for planting in anticipation of the rains

And here is a picture of the same field - prepared just the day before, but now with a liberal smattering of plastic and other trash. The field is adjacent to the road pictured above.

So where was this road leading? Well, to the Wingate Park Golf Club, where I had the pleasure of a leisurely 18 last Friday.And the golf club is  situated right next door . . . . to the Harare Municipal Dump. Which is the source of all of the plastic blowing about the countryside in the preceding 3 photos!

The expansion of the dump towards the golf club has led to a rather unique golfing experience on a golf course which, while not top-drawer, is certainly a pleasant play. This is my friend Ben (who carded a fantastic eagle on this day) sending another bullet straight down the fairway - with a mountain of plastic in the background. A picture of the dump as seen from the Tee Box. The bulk of this is  . . . . plastic water bottles. Unbelievably.

A view not restricted to the tee boxes either.

A couple of the greens have found that the expansion of the dump has somewhat detracted from the views as envisioned by the original course architects:

And like rubbish dumps (or tips?) all over the world, the Harare Municipal Dump supports a parallel world - people who work, eat and sleep there, spending their days going through other people's leavings for a living. In the picture below you can see 3 of these 'gleaners' hard at work.

A bit like the 'spot the cat' picture, isn't it? Bet you missed the figure on the extreme left?

And now for a picture of some real rubbish.

For which I am solely responsible.

And I would just advise those of you with a nervous disposition to look away now, and page back to the top.

Because this is rubbish of the worst kind.

And it was seen all over the golf course!

So, there you have it

Rubbish . . . . . everywhere!

Have a great day.

Puppy for sale.

Today's blog is not in the normal flow of things because we have a puppy to sell.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, one of our puppies is now available. Most folk let pups go at 6 weeks, but I like to keep them to just under 8 weeks, and so Moto-moto will be ready for a new home by Tuesday 29th September. Cost is $300

This is the fellow now available:

And another view of the little chap from close-up.

(This is him in a thoughtful mood!):

We call him Moto-moto (which means 'fire-fire' in Shona) because he is a very solid and strong little dog. Obviously his new owners will re-name him when they get him.

His Dad - Blue -is a dappled dachshund (daxxie) who was imported from South Africa. His mother is a brown daxxie, and her mum also came from South Africa - so lots of new genes to Zim. This is father & son:

So what are the chances of Moto-moto producing a dappled offspring? Well the vet said he should carry the dapple gene through, but there are no guarantees. This is Moto-moto with his 2 dappled siblings:

 We had 2 dappled and 2 brown in the litter.

2 of the pups are staying in Zimbabwe, and the third is on his way to Zambia shortly.

Here are the kids trying a bone for the very first time. (They love bones!)

So there you have it.

If you are interested in a fine specimen of a daxxie and can give a home to Moto-moto, please give me a call on ?-263-(0)772306560. Thursday afternoon would be a good time to come around and see the pups if you are genuinely interested, or Saturday morning.

We will release him on a FCFS, COD basis.Obviously all jabs are up to date.

Or . . . . . . if you are already a daxxie convert (only special people own daxxies!), have a little lady to whom you are devoted and would like some puppies of your own, and if you would like Blue - Moto-moto's father, as a stud, again please give me a call. Stud fees will be either POL or equivalent.

One last look - at a homeless puppy in need of love and a good, safe, home. lots of licks assured! (Actually he is the waggiest-tail little dog!)

Fine fellow.

As always - new readers can go to the top of this page, and you will see all my old posts listed. The most recent ones anyway. there are 201 in total, all about life in Africa.

Have a great day!