Stand back Escoffier. (And all other classical chefs!)

Those of you who know Mutare well will have had occasion to eat at the 'Pork Club' - otherwise known as the Portuguese Club.

Quite aside from being politically incorrect, calling it the 'Pork' Club is very misleading because when you eat there you have a choice of chicken. Not pork. Chicken.

Just that.

 

Chicken. Flame-gilled. The only real decision you have to make is if you want the left side of the chicken.....or the right side of the chicken.

Spiced with peri peri, it can be mild, medium or hot. But that's your choice - half-chicken and chips. And very nice it is too - to be eaten with the hands only!

So when a family relative - Erin, came home at age 19 after leaving at age 9, those folk who knew her gathered at the Portuguese Club for chicken. Here, then, our merry band...

And here are the misguided youth of Mutare. Kind of scary, no?

And just how do you cook 24 half-chickens so that they are ready at the same time? Well, the check-list is quite simple really...

1) Build a brick fireplace in your kitchen
2) Fill it with really, really hot coals
3) Find a chef
4) Buy a nice white uniform for the chef
5) Find him a pair of long tongs so that he won't get burned as he turns the chickens
6) Get 24 half-chickens and smear them with peri peri
7) Cook the chickens over the open flames turning constantly
8) Serve when ready

Oh well.........6 out of 8 ain't bad!

or.......wait, has he got tongs in his other hand? Let's see.........



Nope! No wonder the chicken is so tasty! (Very!)

Have a great day!

Tell me if this doesn't blow you away?

Sorry for the late post - but I have been really busy today - with not a soul in the hotel. Pretty much a full day's work.......doing stuff for Amazon.

A good number of you have bought my book via Kindle (and thank you those that have!) - but many have asked for a hard copy. So I spent the day arranging for a self-published version - via Amazon. It has been quite a challenge, and loads of trouble with formatting, syntax, gutters and margin widths - not to mention imbedded fonts.

But........ I've submitted my offering to the gods of publishing, and we shall see what they think.

However - they made one teeny weeny mistake in all of this, because while they offer to design your cover and so on (for vast amounts of money) - they also give you the chance to design your own (for free). No contest!

Which means you get to write all over the back of a book.

Not you - but me!

How cool is that? And how brave of Amazon to think I would be in the least bit sensible - knowing that every man, woman and child reads the back of the book first?

So today - just the one picture (twice) - and would love your thoughts on this. Tell me if it didn't give you a small chuckle?

Here - subject to 'approval' - (whatever that means), is my book - front cover, spine and back. I have posted a small pic so you can see the whole outline - and then a big one so you can read.

And here is it in closer detail....

Not sure when you will be able to order it - or even from where, but will keep you all posted! And if you DO buy it - I promise to sign anything placed in front of me with a flourish.

Please, please, share this with your friends! Thanks.

Have a great day!

Un-bee-leave-able

Today is the last post on the group of Americans we had staying - and I only include this because, without photographic proof - no-one seems to believe me when I tell them about it. The thing is this....

Americans can't use wine glasses!!

Told you that you wouldn't believe me!

These representatives of the most powerful nation on earth (after China and Russia, that is) proved to be totally incapable of using a wine glass! The first inkling I had of this was when they ALL complained of getting wet when they tried to drink their wine. Apparently every time they lifted the glass - they got soaked.

It seems that while they can drink a Coca~cola (which they call a "pop" for some strange reason - despite it being labelled clearly on the bottle) from either a bottle or can, and seem to be perfectly capable of drinking from a beer tankard, the small stem of a wine glass was something entirely new to them.

Holding a glass by the stem proved so problematic that only one of the group managed it by the time they left. Here are several members of the group trying their damndest, (and failing) to hold a wine glass properly.....

 This is Julie, who tried Really, really, hard to hold the glass properly; so hard in fact, that you can almost see the steam coming out of her ears! But she failed. Can you see where she is going wrong?

This is Shannon and Madison, who decided to team up to 'learn how to hold a glass together' - but it really proved to be a case of the blind leading the blind.........

Madison can be excused for her ineptitude because she is a minor, but, incredibly, Shannon had been forced to change her clothes three times before she would admit she didn't know how to drink wine out of a wine glass. She's that sort of person.

This is Jeff - who tried for 3 nights in a row, but failed. Can you see what he is doing wrong?

Finally - the one success story - Dana. He eventually managed it - and from that moment on, walked around the hotel showing off his ability to "hold a wine glass" as if it was a unique ability.

Which it was!



When last seen heading for the aircraft steps - he was still proudly waving his glass at everyone! I expect there may be some interest taken in him by the Security officials at JFK International when he lands!

Have a great day!

It's hunting season again!

So the group of invertebrate-munching Americans has left - well, almost all of them. Here they are on the morning of their departure. We were sad to see them go, as there had been lots of laughs and fun. Worms aside.

A fine group of people and we wish them safe journeys home!

The departure of the group, of course, meant that we could start killing stuff again (we generally don't kill things when we have foreign folk staying here - it upsets them).

Here, then, my pack of hunting dogs - focussed on their quarry...

So what were the dogs hunting? Killer instincts aroused?  Look carefully....there are actually two of their prey in the picture

However - not all the Americans left, and we were rather astonished when Julie, who remained behind with her husband Dana, requested a "very sturdy, large knife with a sharp point on it". At first we though she wanted to peel an orange or something, but she stalked slowly to the bottom of the garden with the knife concealed in her sleeve like a true commando, and then  sat motionless on the grass watching her prey:

So just what was Julie stalking so patiently? Well, we really have to zoom in on the photo above - and thanks to modern technology I can reveal.....

Fortunately our monkeys are a lot sneakier than the chipmunks she normally hunts and kills back home in America, and I can report that the little fellow escaped to live another day!

And you have a great day too!

Eat dem worms!

So no posts for a couple of days - apologies, but one thing and another........

One of the reasons that I have been busy is the fact that we have had a small group of Americans staying. And you may remember from my post of the 14th - that I always try and serve these groups a small helping of Mopane worms. So here is a group of First World folk eating Third World food. And..........loving it?

Here we have plated them - because we were serving them to some Americans, we only gave them one or two worms each. And we served them with creamed potato and a tomato & onion concasse.

Of coursed there was much jollity and merriment on the arrival of the worms at the table. Until, of course, they realised they would now have to eat one!

This is Shannon - whose razor-sharp intellect (she is the only person who has, to date, spoiled my 'previous lives' story by guessing that a loud bark was imminent!) meant that she evaluated her chances of keeping a Mopane worm down without assistance, and immediately enlisted the assistance of a small glass of wine to help the unfortunate invertebrate down!

This is Julie - who has stayed with us many times before and whose picture you may have seen hanging on the wall at La Rochelle. She copied Shannon's 'swallow and gulp' trick - but still the thought of a worm sliding down her throat was enough to get her grimacing!

Julie's husband Dana stated that he actually really enjoyed the worms, but one went down sideways. Look of pure delight on his face says it all! In his own little bubble of ecstasy I would say?

Hides his emotions well, doesn't he?

Have a great day!

Huge explosions - as we burn the grass clippings!

The last week, La Rochelle has been rocked by the sound of explosions - almost like gunfire all throughout the day. Not the staccato clatter of an AK47, but more the measured hollow thump of a Holland & Holland .410 or shotgun.

And these blasts are so loud that the echoes come reverberating back off the mountains on the opposite side of the valley. This has all been because............we are burning the grass clippings!

Honestly.

You see - the time has come to cut the grass, and it has grown well out of control as you can see. Here is the stand of grass the gardeners have been cutting - behind the orchid houses.....

And just because I have pictured the orchid houses, and just because this blog has never been inside one of the orchid houses - here are some of the plants flowering right now. (Of course, this has nothing to do with the exploding grass - this is just for the girls to say "oooooh!")

Here is a picture of me - standing next to the grass before it is cut. I am the little white blob (figures, huh?) right in the background........

And here is the reason for the blasts that have rocked our valley! As the bamboo burns, each segment heats until the air inside bursts out - creating the loud "whummmpppss" that have so broken the peace of late...........we are burning the grass clippings! (Of course, you knew all along that bamboo is a grass - didn't you?)

And here is our nicely mown lawn!

Ahhhh - the smell of fresh-cut grass can only mean winter is here!

Have a great day!

Brrrrrr!!!

So - winter is upon us poor Africans, and we have a dreadful 6 weeks to get through before summer returns. Kind of.

Being Zimbabwe, we don't get snow (though we will get frost later on in winter) - and I have actually never seen snow in all my life. But is does get cold - and here is some proof....

Unfortunately the fist pic did not come out so well - but across the valley during winter, the smoke from the cooking fires simply gets too cold too quickly to rise, and it 'flows' down the valley in a steady stream on the wind - looking almost like water

This is a photo of the trees down by the caravan park - and the steam that rises from the ground as the sun breaks through..

This is a photo of the cottage next to my house - as the first rays of the sun hit the thatch roof it looks as though it is on fire.....

However - it is not the outside temperatures that cause us so much trouble - it is the temperatures inside that are the lowest. You see - because for 46 weeks of the year we are warm or hot, the houses here are designed to be cooler inside than out - which makes them freezing in winter.

In case you do not believe that it is really cold inside the buildings - just look at what happened to a glass of water that we left on the bar counter by mistake last night....

 

 

It really is cold!

 

Have a great day!